


Marvel Magazine sits down with... The Avengers

by TheExclamation



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 21:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5263487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheExclamation/pseuds/TheExclamation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU in which the Avengers are a rock band, and SHIELD and others in the supporting cast are their entourage.</p><p>It's presented in the form of an interview so I could include all the snippets I thought of. I am probably not going to have the time to continue this in any way, but I did have a lot of fun with it, so maybe someday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marvel Magazine sits down with... The Avengers

** Marvel Magazine sits down with... **

 

The Avengers:

Tony Stark: Keyboards, Electronics, Lead Vocals

Steve "Captain" Rogers: Rhythm Guitar & Lead Vocals

Thor Odinson: Lead Guitar

Natasha Romanoff: Bass & Background Vocals

Clint Barton: Woodwinds, Mandolin, Sitar, Ethnic Percussion

Bruce Banner: Drums

 

Nick Fury: Manager

Pepper Potts: Media & Public Relations

Phil Coulson: Tour Manager, Live Sound Engineer

Maria Hill: Crew Chief & Pyrotechnics

 

***

_MM: You don't seem the type to share the spotlight._

Tony Stark: I'm not. When we formed the band, Cap wanted to play rhythm guitar, that was his thing, because he's really into being a team player, but it was obvious from the start that he's a born leader, too, so we made him co-frontman. It was very generous of me.

_MM: And you're Tony's girlfriend?_

Pepper Potts: I prefer to think of _him_ as being _my_ boyfriend.

_MM: Was your... becoming a couple..._

Pepper: That works.

_MM: ... a direct result of working closely together?_

Pepper: I'd have to say it happened in spite of it.

_MM: 'Media and Public Relations' - does that keep you busy?_

Pepper: Well, they often need a _lot_ of public relations...

_MM: Pissing in a hotel corridor?_

Tony: You should try every rock n' roll cliché at least once. I haven't thrown a TV out a window yet. That was Banner and Barton.

***

_MM: You're in charge of their live sound, but you're a songwriter too, right? You wrote some famous jingles... ?_

Phil Coulson: Yeah, the 'Philly Cheese' songs.

_MM: I loved those!_

Phil: That was a great two years.

_MM: Is it true you've given up jingle writing?_

Phil: Once the ads had run their course, it was done; there was nowhere else to go, jingle-wise.

_MM: You still write songs, though?_

Phil: Under pseudonyms. My real name is too recognisable as the 'Philly Cheese' guy. It brings with it certain expectations. Usually not good ones.

_MM: Any hits under those pseudonyms?_

Phil: At least three top ten hits every year for the last three years. - Before you ask which ones, they were all ghostwritten; I don't take the bows.

_MM: But you do get the money?_

Phil: I could probably live off my publishing and royalties for the rest of my life. Maybe not too comfortably, but I could live.

_MM: So you're okay with being the guy in the shadows?_

Phil: I'm middle-aged and balding: I was never going to get on MTV.

_MM: So, musically, who's the unsung hero of the band?_

Phil: Clint. Nothing escapes his notice. It might seem to people like he doesn't do much, but he's always right there. Whenever something is needed, a touch of colour, or an extra push of energy, he knows just what it is, and he throws it in there.

_MM: You make it sound like they wouldn't sound the same without him._

Phil: They wouldn't. In a lot of ways, he's the heart of the group.

_MM: In most bands, that role falls to the keyboard player._

Phil: Sure, but you've met our keyboard player.

***

Tony: I like to think of myself as both the naturally charismatic front man, as well as the avant-garde genius type. Sort of a cross between Jerry Lee Lewis and Brian Eno kind of deal.

Steve Rogers: Burton Cummings.

Tony: He's not even kidding. He loves the Guess Who.

Steve: They're the Canadian Beatles.

***

_MM: What drew you to the lead guitar?_

Thor Odinson: Well, everybody knows that Scandinavia is the home of the greatest heavy metal bands in the world...

Tony: And ABBA!

Thor: Er, a fine example of excellent songcraft and studio perfection.

Tony: Ooh - nice save.

***

_MM: What does a Crew Chief do?_

Maria Hill: I'm basically the stage manager. I make sure everything is unpacked and set up properly, then during the show I'm in charge of all the backstage and technical personnel, and after the show I make sure everything is properly packed up again and we leave on time for the next gig.

_MM: That sounds like a lot of work._

Maria: I'm a very organised person. And I'm comfortable giving orders.

_MM: It's rare that a stage manager - who is basically a supervisor - will have a specific job to do during the show._

Maria: Yes. But I insisted on it when they hired me.

_MM: Why pyrotechnics?_

Maria: Because it's inevitable - if you deal with these people long enough, you're going to want to blow something up.

***

_MM: Who is your favourite guitarist?_

Steve: Randy Bachman, not just because of his talent and playing style, but because of his strong moral convictions, too. He proved you can play rock without succumbing to the excesses.

_MM: You're very outspoken about your fondness for the Guess Who._

Steve: Absolutely. They would have been every bit as big as the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, if they didn't come from a self-effacing country.

***

_MM: You're a very soft-spoken person off stage, but you seem to completely transform when you get behind the drum kit._

Bruce Banner: Yeah, I really get into it.

_MM: They call you The Monster. How do you feel about that?_

Bruce: Well, I was the smart, quiet kid in school, so I kind of like it, the contrast. I guess I have a lot of pent-up anger to get out.

_MM: One of the most-anticipated moments of your shows is when you stand up and start playing by punching the drum skins. That started purely by accident, didn't it?_

Bruce: Yeah, it's one of those rock n' roll things. We were doing a gig, and I couldn't hear my monitors properly, so... I got angry... and started smashing my drums with my fists. I got a reputation after that.

_MM: Who's the unsung hero of the band?_

Bruce: Natasha, no question.

_MM: She gets a fair bit of press, though._

Bruce: Well, more than a bass player usually gets. But in her case, it's not for the right reasons. She's a great bass player - she holds us together.

***

_MM: Bruce says you're the unsung hero of the band._

Natasha Romanoff: That's nice of him.

_MM: He implied you don't get enough credit._

Natasha: I don't know what "enough" credit might be, but I do keep the rest of them on beat and on key. That's a lot harder than I make it look.

_MM: Is there any truth to the rumour that you and Banner..._

Natasha: Next question.

_MM: O-kay... You seem to be the most quiet and enigmatic member of the band, which are stereotypical bass player traits._

Natasha: I'm a very independent, self-contained person.

_MM: But the bass is arguably the least independent of any instrument. Even a drummer can jam on his own, but a bass player can't, really._

Natasha: No, that's true. I'm very self-sufficient, but I _prefer_ playing with other people.

***

_MM: Tony is romantically linked with Pepper, and there are rumours about Natasha and Bruce..._

Thor: Which I will not comment upon, for I value my extremities.

_MM: And then there are rumours about... two other members of the entourage..._

Thor: Can I expect there to be a _question_ of any sort forthcoming?

_MM: You seem to be the only one with a significant other outside of the band._

Thor: Jane, yes.

_MM: Does that make it difficult, not having her on tour with you?_

Thor: Believe me, it would be more difficult for both of us if she were.

***

_MM: How did Steve get the nickname 'Captain'?_

Tony: From his favourite Elton John album. We play _Go Fish_ on the tour bus, winner gets to choose what we listen to. He won four times in a row. It's a 45-minute album, so that was three hours of _Someone Saved My Life Tonight_.

_MM: Who broke his winning streak?_

Tony: Natasha. She was the only one playing to win at that point; the rest of us were just playing so he would lose.

***

_MM: You released three jazz albums on Blue Note before joining the band._

Clint Barton: That's right, two studio albums and one live album.

_MM: The critics loved them, as I recall._

Clint: Yeah, but nobody bought them, not the first two. That's why my manager and I parted ways after the second one, and then Fury came on board. It was his idea to do a live album, try to show people what the ensemble could do.

_MM: That one sold well, didn't it?_

Clint: Well, it sold better than the other two combined! But then the backlash started...

_MM: What was that about?_

Clint: People were mad that I'd fired my bass player - only I didn't! On the first two albums, _Hawkeye_ and _Black Widow_ , Tasha played the upright bass. But we didn't think the jazz community would accept a petite, Russian, female, red-headed bass player, so we billed her as 'Richard S. Roundtree'.

_MM: 'S' as in 'Shaft'?!_

Clint: We didn't think anyone would take the name seriously! But they did, and then when we did _Live In Budapest_ , she was such a big part of the sound that I put her on the cover, in the background, but all of a sudden everybody was accusing me of trying to use sex appeal to sell albums. Tasha was even more pissed than I was, because she was the bass player the whole time! So I said a few things back, in public, and got into Internet Trouble - I guess that's a thing now - and so Blue Note dropped me and I decided maybe I didn't want to be in the public eye so much any more and Tasha said that Fury was putting this band together, she'd already been invited and she convinced me to tag along to the first rehearsal. We forgot to tell Fury about it, so that was kind of funny, when we both walked in together...

***

_MM: You've been called a manipulative, Svengali-type figure..._

Nick Fury: Not to my face, though!

_MM: How would you -_

Nick: Who are these people? I'd like to see _them_ handle everything that I have to put up with. They wouldn't last a day!

_MM: Maybe we should change the subject._

Nick: Maybe we should!

_MM: You chose your stage name, Nick Fury, at age sixteen, and you played clubs before you were old enough to drink in them._

Nick: Good times.

_MM: You ever miss strapping on a guitar?_

Nick: I can still let 'er rip when I have to.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> "You should try every rock n' roll cliché at least once. I haven't thrown a TV out a window yet. That was Banner and Barton."
> 
> That quote was stolen from Tuomas Holopainen of Nightwish; the original TV-tossers were Marco & Jukka.
> 
> When I related this quote to jmathieson, her immediate reaction was that she'd love to read an AU where the Avengers were a rock band. So, here it is!


End file.
